Secrets 3

For 20+ years my wife and I have operated under a marriage strategy that we call "The B.E.S.T. Strategy". As with some of the other strategies that have become second-nature to us, we don't remember from whom or from where this strategy emerged. We just know it works.

Here's the skinny...

"B" stands for "Blessing". We make a point to bless each other, which means to say good things to and about each other. I cringe when I hear husbands refer to their wives as the "old lady" or the "ball-and-chain". She is a gift from God and, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD" (Proverbs 18:22).

"E" stands for "Edifying". Again, our speech plays a role here. We lift each other up with encouraging words. We believe in each other and have confidence that God is working - on many levels - to develop and mature each other and we would rather partner with Him in edifying than partner with the enemy in bringing discouragement.

"S" stands for "Sharing". There is not a part of my life, a conversation, a plan, or a dream that I hold that my wife is not aware of. We share with each other. Everything. Especially communications with the opposite sex. We recognize that our marriage is not either one of us; it is both of us. The two really did become one, and it would be a mistake to keep half of us in the dark and it is such an honor to have someone willing to listen to everything I have to say!

"T" stands for "Touching". We touch. It's good for us. It confirms what we feel for each other and, even when in disagreement over something, we touch to remind each other that we are still one.

This acronym gives us a score card to turn to every once in awhile to make sure that some basics are in place. I am far from perfect. My sarcastic upbringings make the "Blessing" part a particular challenge but my wife has seen me make progress over the years.

I hope this helps.